I get to choose how I act and react to the things around me. I know that all things work together for good because I love God and I’m called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
I need to make internal changes not just external ones. My heart is a key part in this. My heart needs to be transformed. I need to throw out bitterness, judgement, resentment, discouragement, depression, and anxiety. I need to guard my heart because out of it springs issues of life (Proverbs 4:23).
I know God will use my brokenness. What I’m going through is a gateway to get closer to God. The times I feel alone and unloved, I need to remember, God always loves me and is always with me. I need to be strong and not afraid. My Lord is always with me and He will never leave me (Deut. 31:6-8).
I need to remember God is with me and His comforting arms are around me to shield me from the things that are hurting me. I know God is going to get me through this. His comfort and His strength is always available to me.
When I get to the end of this chapter of heartache and tribulation, I will be stronger and able to comfort others with the same comfort I received from God (2Corinthians 1:3-5).
This is the day the Lord has made; I will…I choose to… rejoice and be glad in it (Psalms 118:24).
Posted in faith, healing, prayers, God's blessings, God's love, grieving, helping others, loss, love, memories
Tagged faith, family, God's love
When my son, Spencer, was in kindergarten he asked me if I knew what he wanted to be when he grew up. Since it was already past his bedtime, I figured…stall tactic. I let out a sigh and asked “What?”. His response melted my heart. He said “I want to be a pastor so I can teach people about the Bible and how important it is to have Jesus in their heart”. Wow! I had pools of “I’m so proud” tears in my eyes the rest of the night.
For graduation, his class did a program titled “When I grow up”. The teacher randomly passed out cards printed with different professions. There were three police officers, two teachers, two firemen, two doctors, two plumbers, and one pastor. Spencer got the card for pastor! He said he hadn’t told his teacher about his future plans.
Graduation came and went. (He did an awesome job) Summer vacation flew by as well and the beginning of first grade. Spencer was in the chorus for the Christmas program. During a break at one of the practices, the teacher asked the kids a question. If they were traveling with the Wise Men, what gifts would they bring for baby Jesus. Answers started flying around the room. Hot Wheels, video games, basketballs, footballs. Spencer raised his hand and said, “I would bring myself to worship Him”. Another ‘wow’ moment.
Over the years, Spencer has had many ‘wow’ moments and I have had many ‘I’m so proud’ pools. One that comes to mind happened when we were out for dinner. Spencer stopped in the middle of his meal, put down his fork, and said “You know, even if someone says they’re a Christian if they don’t have Jesus in their heart, they’re going to hell”.
This year, Spencer told me he wanted to be a doctor. I asked him why. He answered, “I seem to get sick every winter and feel terrible. I want to be a doctor so I can help people feel better”. Whether Spencer becomes a pastor or a doctor, he will make a huge difference in the lives of those he meets.
I know either way, he will be working for the Great Physician!
Before I went to church today, I stopped at McDonald’s. I ended up sitting there sharing my coffee with my tears.
When I got to church, I set down my bible, said hello to the pastor and took my coat off.
Pam walked over to me and asked how I was doing. I guess I wasn’t too convincing when I said “ok”. She asked me what was wrong. I barely got the first words out of my mouth before I started crying. “My daughter was stillborn 14 years ago. It’s seams to be getting harder for me every year”.
She wrapped her arms around me and started to pray. She prayed for the spirit of grief to leave me, for God to show me that Sara was safe, healthy, happy and dancing with Jesus. Also, that my baby was safe in His arms and that, when I needed to, I could come to Him and He would wrap His arms around me and wipe away my tears.
While she was praying and declaring what was true, I had healing tears streaming down my face. I already knew it, but hearing Pam say that one day I will be with my daughter again and that we will both dance with Jesus. Wow, my tears of sorrow turned into tears of joy. The joy of the Lord is my strength. – Neh. 8:10.