Tag Archives: forgiveness

Hearing vs Listening

I started writing this a while ago. I am compelled to finish it now.

Hearing is simply the art of perceiving sound by the ear. Hearing just happens. Listening is something you consciously choose to do or not do.
With listening you need to not only comprehend what the person is saying to you but then you need to decide if you care enough to do what needs to be done. It’s something you need to do or not do. It can be as easy as putting the toilet seat down to stopping a behavior that the other person is unable to handle.
I wrote a blog about owning what you say & if you hurt someone with those words, apologize. https://ppetroline.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/own-it/ There is another part that is very important, your actions.
Your actions and your listening skills are very important. When someone tells you how they feel or how your actions make them feel…listen. Don’t blow it off thinking, “Oh, she’s just being over sensitive”, “He doesn’t really mean it”, “That can’t be true”. Well guess what? She isn’t being over sensitive! He did mean it! It is true!
Own it! Don’t play victim because someone hurt your feelings by telling you the truth about how you make them feel.
Don’t let it get to the point that someone bites your head off because you’ve pushed them over the edge. Listen to what people say to you. Don’t just perceive a sound, comprehend it and do something.
Sometimes it can go years before one gets backed into a corner and can’t handle the inconsiderate actions of the other. Relationships need to be based on listening, comprehension, actions and love.

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Own It

2012 was a crazy year. It started out uneventful. When we got to the last 3-4 months…totally different thing.

It seemed to spiral out of control. Words, like hairball & smile, to be exact, were a large part of what saddened my heart as 2012 started to wind-down.

The first word, ‘hairball’, was so offensive to a person that it ended an 11 year collaboration and friendship.

The other word was ‘smile’. As words go, smile isn’t a word you would think could cause such a problem. Timing is everything and the timing of the word smile on my Facebook page knocked the wind out of me, added to my heartache, and almost ended a 52 year friendship.

It’s one thing to make a comment that makes someone cry but also lightens their heart. It’s another thing to make someone cry and crush their already broken heart.

If yours words, no matter how innocent you think they are, come across wrong or are taken in a way you didn’t mean them…correct it. Not only correct it, do it quickly. Own it and apologize.

Some people don’t realize the power behind words. The person dishing them out may think the other person is being too sensitive…it doesn’t matter.

A half-hearted apology will lead to a half-hearted acceptance. That will leave a huge elephant in the room.

Words can hurt or words can heal.

Choose yours carefully.